how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
