& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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