I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
