I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
