we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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