You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They are going to name an STD after you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
