So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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