Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
