I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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