I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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