I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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