I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
