I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
