I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
