So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
