you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize