i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
