So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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