That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
