ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
