Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
