its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
