i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
