I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize