Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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