You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
