She is in my trunk
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I look better un-naked...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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