when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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