it wasn't lemon gatorade
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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