I've blown a few things in my day
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
