oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize