....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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