the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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