She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
