me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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