she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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