just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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