You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
