My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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