One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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