One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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