i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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