I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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