he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
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I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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