I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
