maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize