Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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