She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
