Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
