margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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