So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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