I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
