Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
