Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
