so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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