Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
