I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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