My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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