8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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