I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
